Escape

I, Burgeon, am responsible for the present constitution of the firm of Burden and Burgeon. I am responsible for the professional existence, almost for the existence at all, of Burden. I deliberately called him forth from his obscurity - summoned him, as it were, from the realm of the Mothers, and set him up in space and time. It is not the fault of either of us that we have since become involved in a complex of responsibilities from which there may be no way out until the shadows lengthen, the busy world is hushed and our work is done. It may not be the fault of either of us - it is certainly not his - that he is turning into a sort of Frankenstein. But in all my present bewilderment I am at least certain of this: that if, without injuring anyone but him, I can do anything to arrest the process and keep my own end up, I ought to do it.
- G.A.L. Burgeon, This Ever Diverse Pair (1950)

G.A.L. Burgeon was a fictional character and pseudonym of Owen Barfield, author, philosopher, and member of the Inklings, an Oxford-based literary group of which C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien were also a part. This Ever Diverse Pair is the story of Burgeon's struggles with Burden, his overbearing business partner, who represents Barfield's busy, practical “self”, as opposed to his creative, “true” self (Burgeon). Burden constantly demands Burgeon's attention, often interrupting or distracting him from the things he loves.

Like Barfield, we have all inherited Burdens from our first father:

To Adam [the Lord] said, “Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, 'You must not eat of it,' cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life. It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return."
- Genesis 3:17-19

Through our disobedience to the perfect Way, we have doomed ourselves to lives of “painful toil”. We have called Burden “from the realm of the Mothers, and set him up in space and time.” Our survival is now contingent on sweat, and we will never be rid of our Frankenstein until we “return to the ground”.

What does a man get for all the toil and anxious striving with which he labors under the sun? All his days his work is pain and grief; even at night his mind does not rest. This too is meaningless.
- Ecclesiastes 2:22-23

However, in His mercy, God has allowed the fallen to keep some good things: things that (I am convinced) contain a piece of eternity, things that mean more than our inescapable obligations, things for our Burgeons to love.

A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.
- Ecclesiastes 2:24-26

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
- James 1:17

I love my family. I love books, music, and movies. I love humor. I love good food. I love history and philosophy. I love pursuing my mysterious, yet knowable, just, yet merciful, holy and powerful, yet personal God. I love His Word and wish people had more respect for it. I love His Church, and I hope that my generation will strengthen, rather than hurt her. I love His creation and the fact that He gave me the ability to create.

This blog is dedicated to the things my Burgeon loves. My Burden, although an unfortunately necessary part of my life, will not be allowed to speak of his successes, failures, aspirations, or frustrations here. I was reluctant to begin blogging, because I did not wish to contribute to Narcissus' legacy, which has steadily increased with the birth of Facebook and Twitter. Barfield's Burgeon considered this as well:

Of course, someone will say that all this is a subtle form of exhibitionism or narcissism or some nastyism or other. It might be if I were writing to please others. But in point of fact it's a matter of complete - well almost complete - indifference whether anybody else ever reads it or not. I am doing it for my own salvation. Burden is eating me up, my time, my wit, my memory, my 'shaping spirit of imagination', my whole me.
- Burgeon, This Ever Diverse Pair

I invite you to read if you wish. I invite feedback and discussion. I hope to make you think, laugh, maybe even discover new interests. But this blog is for my Burgeon's salvation. I do promise that he is a gentleman. He will be honest, but he will not make you uncomfortable. He is not seeking a therapist or a punching bag.

Simply escape...