American Men (Part III): Dad

I love Bob Dylan because he encourages me to take full advantage of the American gift of individual freedom. I love the Duke because of his American resilience and loyalty. I also love men like Jimmy Stewart, Johnny Cash, Frank Sinatra, and Humphrey Bogart, because they are thoroughly masculine and thoroughly American. But these men are only pop culture icons. Throughout our history there have been men who have worked, fought, and endured hardships of many kinds for the cause of freedom and justice. There have been men whose creativity and ingenuity have produced incredible inventions and beautiful works of art and literature. I couldn't possibly list all of these great Americans here. You can and should read about many of them elsewhere.

I want to write about the greatest and most influential man in the United States: Dad.

The righteous man leads a blameless life; blessed are his children after him.
- Proverbs 20:7

The fact that dads are a very important part of life for boys and girls has been stated before, but it really is true. My dad has been a profound influence and encouragement, and, to a lesser degree, so have other dads in my life: my grandfathers, my uncles, the fathers of friends, and men I've observed at church.

Several months ago, I started writing a poem inspired by these dads (some more directly than others), which was to describe the various qualities of a good father. I suffered writer's block after completing the first part. Then I started reading a book called Tender Warrior by Stu Weber. His "Four Pillars of Manhood" described exactly what I was trying to capture in the poem.

King. Warrior. Mentor. Friend. Four rhythms in a man.

Four undergirding life rhythms throb in the veins of every male child. They pipe a four-part cadence to which every man must march if he chooses to be a complete man. Always intermingled, never exclusive, they provide the primary colors of the masculine rainbow from which all others draw their hue. Blending perfectly with one another, they reflect the light of the One in whose image they are made...

The heart of the king is a provisionary heart. The king looks ahead, watches over, and provides, order, mercy, and justice. He is authority. He is leader...
The heart of the Warrior is a protective heart. The Warrior shields, defends, stands between, and guards...

The heart of the mentor is a teaching heart. The mentor knows; he wants others to know. He models, explains, and trains. He disciples - first his wife and kids, then others. He has a spiritual heart...

The heart of the friend is a loving heart. It is a care-giving heart. Passionate, yes, but more: compassionate ("I will be with you"). The friend in a man is a commitment-maker. And a promise-keeper.

Sourced in Scripture, observed in history, and experienced personally, these four pillars bear the weight of authentic masculinity. They coexist. They overlap. And when they come together in a man, you will know it. You will feel it. You will be touched by it. Like four strands of steel in a cable, they will hold you.
- Weber, Tender Warrior (1993)

I went back to my notebook, and the words flowed quite easily. It's simple, somewhat cliche, and parts of it are sad, so if any country singers or Mark Schultz would like to turn it into a song, feel free to contact me:


John Clayton was a working man
His collar was blue, and his skin was tan
He kept bolts and screws in a coffee can
His thoughts and words were few

John's shop always smelled like tobacco
Playin' "Golden Oldies" on his clock radio
And when he was home, that's where he'd go
What he did there, no one knew

As distant a man as you ever met
In his ways, John was firmly set
Possessed little love, but much respect
His heart was rough like his hands

A loyal member of the union and the Church of Christ
A loyal provider for his kids and wife
And loyal to the Marlboros that took his life
John Clayton was a working man


Lee Jackson was a fighting man
Always the first one to take a stand
Proudly served his country in Viet Nam
His buddies are all dead and buried

Lee winked at a girl at the diner one night
Her boyfriend got jealous and wanted to fight
They went outside, and Lee set him right
And six weeks later got married

When their boys started school, Lee expected the best
Fought coaches who caused them fear and stress
Fought teachers who fed them liberal B.S.
And anything un-American

Lee retired at fifty-four
Dedicated himself to the Pro-life war
Fought injustice 'til he could fight no more
Lee Jackson was a fighting man


Ben Simon was a thinking man
Rarely seen without a book in hand
His knowledge and interests were wide in span
But always denied being "smart"

Ben taught classes at the local J.C.
English Lit. and Intro. to Philosophy
Always willing to talk over lunch or coffee
He challenged their minds and their hearts

Ben's daughter was very proud of her dad
He always could answer the questions she had
He taught her to challenge what she knew was bad
Read her Alice and Peter Pan

Ben lived to be ninety-two years old
His books and papers are gathering mold
The scope of his influence yet to be told
Ben Simon was a thinking man


Tom Warren was a family man
Married at twenty on Hawaiian sand
Traded his car in for a mini van
And dearly loved his wife

Taught his boys how to treat a woman like mom
He took his daughter to her junior prom
No sacrifice was too big for Tom
He lacked money for most of his life

'Cause he spent more time at home than work
Cared more about family than status and perks
And refused to be bullied by corporate jerks
To provide was his only plan

Tom's kids grew up and had kids of their own
His wife passed on and left him alone
But he knew Heaven meant they'd all be home
Tom Warren was a family man


So Happy Father's Day, Dad. Happy Father's Day to my Granddad, my Grandpa, my father-in-law, my uncles. Happy first Father's Day to my best friend, and Happy Father's Day to all the men who have affected me and never knew it. My love and respect for you grows constantly as I grow in my own fatherhood. I pray that I will be a "four-pillared" man to my own family, as you have been to yours.

Happy Father's Day to the true American Hero.

American Men (Part II): Duke

I am not sure when it happened, but at some point in the last five years or so, I think I became a man. Manhood came without fanfare: no bar mitzvah, no flash of lightning, no sudden growth of body hair. Did it happen the day I moved out of my parents' house, the day I got married, or the day I became a father? I don't know. But I'm pretty sure it happened. Granted, I am still in the lifelong process of maturing and learning how to be the man God wants me to be, but I believe the initial change has taken place.

Evidence #1: I’m spending more time in the bathroom.

Maybe the digestion process has grown more complicated with age. Maybe the solitude of the stall has grown more appealing. Maybe reading is easier in there. All I know is that what I used to make fun of my dad for, I now do.

Evidence #2: I find myself liking country music.

I used to loathe country music, and I swore it would never happen, but something about it has become attractive. The simplicity, the patriotism, the pride: things I guess I never really understood when I was younger. Back then, hometown “hicks” were ridiculous to me. Now I respect the working man and his struggles. Although I still love my rock and roll, I have come to appreciate the realness of country music. It extols the little pleasures of life that I used to take for granted. It laments losses and hardships I didn’t used to understand. After a while, intellectual idealism can leave a bad taste in your mouth, and you have to wash it out with a little bite of country fried real life.

Evidence #3: I love John Wayne.

When I was a kid, I thought westerns were boring. When there wasn’t a gunfight or a chase scene, the stories seemed to be very slow, and even when there was some action, it was usually pretty repetitive. The dialogue was sparse and dated, the heroes and villains one-dimensional, and the scenery mostly bland. Not only that, but John Wayne was mean. He was constantly telling people what to do, punching people who tried to stand up to him, and keeping the people who cared about him at an emotional distance. I just didn’t get it.

But I get it now. The Duke was a 100% man. And as such, I did not understand him as a boy. His movies might romanticize what was in reality somewhat of a scary, hedonistic period of our country’s history, but that is why they are appealing to men. You see, we suffer today from what Rush Limbaugh has called the “chickification of America”. Hard work and loyalty are prized less than being “in touch with your emotions”. Right and wrong have been blurred, and we care more about hurting people’s feelings than we do about justice. But in Hollywood’s version of the American West, there was honor. There was strength. There were good guys and there were bad guys, and John Wayne was the best guy. He knew what was right, and he'd be sure to let you know if you were wrong. He protected the innocent and punished the guilty. He would kill and die for his cause. He knew how to treat a woman (see the ending of McLintock!). He was proud of what he accomplished with his own hands, and he loved his country.

You ask me why I love her? Well, give me time, and I'll explain
Have you seen a Kansas sunset or an Arizona rain?
Have you drifted on a bayou down Louisiana way?
Have you watched the cold fog drifting over San Francisco Bay?

Have you heard a Bobwhite calling in the Carolina pines?
Or heard the bellow of a diesel in the Appalachia mines?
Does the call of Niagara thrill you when you hear her waters roar?
Do you look with awe and wonder at a Massachusetts shore
Where men who braved a hard new world, first stepped on Plymouth Rock?
And do you think of them when you stroll along a New York City dock?

Have you seen a snowflake drifting in the Rockies way up high?
Have you seen the sun come blazing down from a bright Nevada sky?
Do you hail to the Columbia as she rushes to the sea
Or bow your head at Gettysburg in our struggle to be free?

Have you seen the mighty Tetons? Have you watched an eagle soar?
Have you seen the Mississippi roll along Missouri's shore?
Have you felt a chill at Michigan, when on a winters day
Her waters rage along the shore in a thunderous display?
Does the word "Aloha" make you warm?
Do you stare in disbelief when you see the surf come roaring in at Waimea reef?

From Alaska's gold to the Everglades, from the Rio Grande to Maine
My heart cries out, my pulse runs fast at the might of her domain
You ask me why I love her? I've a million reasons why
My beautiful America, beneath God's wide, wide sky
- John Wayne, America, Why I Love Her (1973), written by John Mitchum

Amen, cowboy.

American Men (Part I): Dylan

This was the rebel rebelling against the rebellion.
- Robbie Robertson, Rolling Stone "100 Greatest Artists of All Time

He has been called a great poet, an inspiration, a musical messiah, a jester, a Judas, a rebel, a revolutionary, the voice of a generation. To me, Bob Dylan is the embodiment of the American spirit of individualism.

In the early 1960’s, the young songwriter gained popularity as a “protest” singer, speaking out against the Man’s attacks on freedom and equality. However, he soon lost interest in the activist movement, and started playing rock and roll. This was not a popular decision, and many of his former fans felt betrayed by the change. But Dylan didn’t care. In the summer of 1965, he appeared at the Newport Folk Festival, brazenly wielding an electric guitar. He was booed during the entire performance, but that didn’t stop him from continuing to record and tour as a rock musician.

We’ve been playing this music ever since we were ten years old. Folk music was just an interruption, which was very useful. If you don’t like it, that’s fine. This is not English music you are listening to. You really haven’t heard American music before… You can take it or leave it. If there’s something you disagree with that’s great. I’m sick of people asking, “What does it mean?” It means nothing.
- Dylan to an angry audience in England during his 1966 world tour

A few years later, he changed direction again, this time delving into an older tradition:

Many of the songs had a mysterious, musty, olde-world flavour, drawing together strands of folk, country, blues and gospel music that was totally out of step with the spirit of the times. In its way, it was as revolutionary as Dylan’s electric heresy. “Psychedelic rock was taking over the universe and we were singing these homespun ballads,” as Dylan himself later observed.
- Nigel Williamson, The Rough Guide to Bob Dylan (2006)

He challenged people’s minds and opinions throughout the 60’s and 70’s, sometimes because he had a message to share, and other times simply because he did things the way he wanted. He fell in and out of favor with the public, and went through a period of reclusion, but by the late 70’s, he was generally well liked. Well liked, that is, until he committed celebrity suicide by becoming a born-again Christian. As with his former passions, Dylan was totally sold out to his new faith. He started writing gospel rock songs, and abandoned his old material completely for a while. Of course, he was again attacked by critics and former fans who were not impressed with his change of direction. And again, he boldly stood by his decision.

The spirit of the Anti-Christ is loose right now. There’s only two kinds of people. There’s saved people and there’s lost people. Remember that I told you that. You may never see me again. You may not see me, but sometime down the line you remember you heard it here, that Jesus is the Lord. Every knee shall bow.
- Dylan to a heckling crowd in Tempe, Arizona during his evangelistic tour

During the early 80’s, Dylan was a zealot. He was perceived as being judgmental, and many of his lyrics featured fire and brimstone, apocalyptic images. After a few years, he cooled down. He started performing his old material again, and his new stuff became less blatantly religious. He still made use of Biblical themes, but they were presented in a more symbolic, traditionally Dylanesque manner.

In 1988, Dylan embarked on what has come to be known as the Never Ending Tour, giving most of his attention to live performances. In the 90’s, he recorded two albums of traditional folk and blues songs, which were not popular. However, this reconnection with the roots of American music led to the release of new music written in the same style in the latter half of the decade and on into the 2000’s. Dylan’s recent work has been received very well, as has his XM Satellite Radio show, Theme Time Radio Hour, which explored nightly themes like “Weather” and “Coffee” through music of various times, places, and genres. The songs he played and his commentary on them opened his listeners up to new worlds of music: worlds that Dylan himself has lived in.

The first time I heard Bob Dylan I thought of him as something of a civil war type, a kind of 19th-century troubadour, a maverick American spirit. The reediness of his voice and the spareness of his words go straight to the heart of America.
- Gregory Peck, 1997

Old folk tunes, blues, country, rockabilly, swing, jazz, rock and roll. The music of America is in Bob Dylan’s blood. Her music is in his blood, and her spirit is in his soul. America is about freedom, and Bob Dylan understands that. When he saw something wrong with the world, he said so. When he wanted to play a new kind of music, he did. When he accepted Jesus Christ, he refused to hide it. When he reached his 60's, and his voice began to show the strain of constant singing and smoking, he continued doing what he loves. He can write poetry, but he’s no Shakespeare. He can play the guitar, but he’s no Jimmy Page. He can carry a tune, but he’s certainly no Frank Sinatra. And he’s never tried to be. He has always been who he wants to be, regardless of popular opinion, and that is why I am a Bob Dylan fan.

The heart of America’s beauty lies not in her spacious skies or amber waves of grain, but in the freedom that she gives. That does not mean we live in anarchy, nor does it mean we should use our freedom to hurt others.

Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God.
- 1 Peter 2:16

However, we are free to make our own decisions. There are those who would like to make our decisions for us. They “know better” how we should eat, what we should drive, how much electricity we should use, where our money should go, how our kids should be educated, and how much influence our religious beliefs should have on our everyday lives. They do not understand individual freedom the way you and I and Bob Dylan do. They want us to shut up and play the music they like. But don’t do it. Play rock and roll. Play country-blues-swing-folk-gospel. Play what you are convicted to play. Don’t use your freedom to sin, but don’t let the Man define sin (that's God's job). Be like Bob. Be an American.