Solus Christus

It's date night. The Husband, fully ready to go, reclines on the bed as He waits on His wife. An intentionally audible (and all too familiar) sigh comes from the bathroom.

Jesus: What's the matter?

Church: I look horrible.

Jesus: No, you don't.

Church: Whatever. I wear this stupid shirt all the time, even though it makes me look like a cow, my hair won't do anything I want it to, my eyebrows are bushy, my arm fat is jiggling, my skin looks too pale, and don't even tell me you haven't noticed these laugh lines and gray hairs that have been popping up lately. (sighs again) I need new makeup.

Jesus: (gets up and puts His hands on His wife's shoulders) You're beautiful.

Church: Of course You think so. You're my Husband. But You're the only one.

Jesus: Aren't I the only one that matters?

Church: Yes, but...

Jesus: But what?

Church: (choking on her words as she begins to cry) People hate me. I hear them: "Jesus is a cool Guy, but I just can't stand that wife of His."

Jesus: Who says stuff like that?

Church: Everyone.

Jesus: You're exaggerating. Besides, if anyone has a problem with you, they've got a problem with Me, and if that's their attitude, they're missing out on knowing a great couple. Listen, I love you. You're smart, gorgeous, and fun to be with. You're...

Church: I guess I should just stop trying then, huh? I'll stop shaving my legs, quit exercising, start eating whatever I want - maybe I should even take up smoking.

Jesus: Look, I want you to take care of yourself. I want you to live a long, healthy life with Me. And it does make Me feel good when you dress up for Me and do special things to show how much you love Me. But keep it about Me. My love for you is and always will be unconditional. Don't worry about what other people think. Please. I just hate seeing you beat yourself up.

Church: (with tears in her eyes, she turns around, hugs Jesus around the neck, kisses Him, and whispers) I love You.

Jesus: I know you do, sweetheart. Let's go to dinner. And we can get you new makeup if it'll make you feel better.

Church: (laughs) O.K.

Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.
- Galatians 1:10

Personal note:

When I conceptualized this little dialogue, I intended it to be simply an exploration of some feelings I've been having over the last few years regarding the Church and her self-esteem. A postmodern world has shown us its contempt, and we have listened. We have tried our hardest to make ourselves more appealing. We have improved in some areas and compromised in others. I do not think we should abandon all efforts to grow along with the times in our methods and styles, but I do think that in many cases our attitudes and priorities have been screwed up.

I've had trouble explaining exactly what it is about all this that bothers me, but I think that this marriage example has helped. It has also challenged me. I know I have been part of the problem. Only instead of saying, "We're not pretty enough," I've criticized our body saying things like, "Our self-esteem is so low and our need for popularity so pathetic, it's no wonder people see us as inferior." God has shown me that in this area, I too have been staring at the Church's mirror instead of her Husband. I have also been less than understanding. When my wife "needs" something I consider impractical or unnecessary, I still try to get it for her if I can afford it. Why am I less generous when it comes to church? If the Church decides she wants drastic, possibly dangerous plastic surgery, I will try to stop her from going through with it. But in less extreme situations, I may need to learn to graciously say, "We can get you new makeup if it will make you feel better."


Lord, let us not be so concerned with what others say or with how we feel about our body that we forget Who our Date is.

Amen.

Sola Scriptura

Ivory Tower Ivan:
"An understanding of the Christian God is vastly multifaceted. One must consider not only theology proper, but also Christology, pneumatology, hamartiology, soteriology, bibliology, ecclesiology, and eschatology, along with many so-called "secular" philosophies pertaining to metaphysics, epistemology, and ethics. Is our reasoning about God deductive or empirical? Is truth objective or subjective? Can we truly know of God, and if so, how? Plato, Aristotle, Augustine, Aquinas, Luther, Kierkegaard, Zwingli, Calvin, Wesley... There are many various intellectual aspects of what we call faith, and one must consult the wisdom of many great thinkers if one is to come to a solid conclusion regarding his or her beliefs on the matter."


Seeker-sensitive Steve:
"Christianity is dying. We're so stuck in the old way of doing things that we've failed to fulfill our primary mission: cultural relevancy. If Jesus were here today, He wouldn't be sitting in some drafty fellowship hall eating casserole and talking about the weather. He'd be walking the street, soaking up the culture, finding out what people need. People today don't want religion; they want community. They don't need to be preached at; they need a place where everyone is accepted. They need dynamic, engaging worship they can relate to. They need media-driven messages and attractive facilities. They need a place to hang out, be authentic, and do life together. Christians need to wake up and follow the successful principles of great leaders like Rick Warren and Bill Hybels. If we don't implement relevant, accessible, five-step thinking into our lives and ministries, we might as well give up now."


Emergent Emily:
"We’re all on a journey. We live, we love, we hurt, we question. We wonder about this thing called God, but the rigid, dogmatic, religious organization known as 'the Church' has made Him into an angry tyrant. But it doesn’t have to be that way. God does not fit into a religious cookie cutter. He is by nature mysterious, and each of us journeys through that mystery in our own way. We struggle, we seek, we serve humanity. We read God’s story for inspiration. We experience spirituality through the arts. We explore the wisdom of Brian McLaren, Rob Bell, Erwin McManus, Spencer Burke, and others. We blog on The Ooze. We dialogue over coffee or a Guinness. And whether we believe the rabbi Jesus was a son of God or not, we follow his journey of love, acceptance, and social change as we strive to care for our Earth and her people. And that’s really what we’re here for. It’s not about some magical destination called 'heaven'. It’s about the journey."


Jehovah God:

“See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ” (Colossians 2:8).

“You invalidated the word of God for the sake of your tradition. You hypocrites, rightly did Isaiah prophesy of you, saying, 'This people honors Me with their lips, but their heart is far away from Me. But in vain do they worship Me, teaching as doctrines the precepts of men'" (Matthew 15:6b-9).

“And regard the patience of our Lord to be salvation; just as also our beloved brother Paul, according to the wisdom given him, wrote to you, as also in all his letters, speaking in them of these things, in which are some things hard to understand, which the untaught and unstable distort, as they do also the rest of the Scriptures, to their own destruction” (2 Peter 3:15-16).

“Remind them of these things, and solemnly charge them in the presence of God not to wrangle about words, which is useless, and leads to the ruin of the hearers. Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, handling accurately the word of truth. But avoid worldly and empty chatter, for it will lead to further ungodliness, and their talk will spread like gangrene” (2 Timothy 2:14-17b).

“And so we have the prophetic word made more sure, to which you do well to pay attention as to a lamp shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star arises in your hearts. But know this first of all, that no prophecy of Scripture is a matter of one's own interpretation, for no prophecy was ever made by an act of human will, but men moved by the Holy Spirit spoke from God” (2 Peter 1:19-21).

“Every word of God is tested; He is a shield to those who take refuge in Him. Do not add to His words lest He reprove you, and you be proved a liar” (Proverbs 30:5-6).

“I testify to everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: if anyone adds to them, God shall add to him the plagues which are written in this book; and if anyone takes away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part from the tree of life and from the holy city, which are written in this book” (Revelation 22:18-19).

“And indeed, all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted. But evil men and impostors will proceed from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived. You, however, continue in the things you have learned and become convinced of, knowing from whom you have learned them; and that from childhood you have known the sacred writings which are able to give you the wisdom that leads to salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work” (2 Timothy 3:12-17).

“Now these were more noble-minded than those in Thessalonica, for they received the word with great eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily, to see whether these things were so” (Acts 17:11).

“But we have renounced the things hidden because of shame, not walking in craftiness or adulterating the word of God, but by the manifestation of truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God” (2 Corinthians 4:2).

“Sanctify them in the truth; Thy word is truth” (John 17:17).

“Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words shall not pass away” (Matthew 24:35).

“Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with Psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God” (Colossians 2:16).

“I shall delight in Thy statutes; I shall not forget Thy word...
Open my eyes, that I may behold wonderful things from Thy law...
Thy testimonies also are my delight; They are my counselors...
I have chosen the faithful way; I have placed Thine ordinances before me...
Make me walk in the path of Thy commandments, for I delight in it...
Turn away my eyes from looking at vanity, and revive me in Thy ways...
I will also speak of Thy testimonies before kings, and shall not be ashamed. And I shall delight in Thy commandments, which I love...
I have remembered Thine ordinances from of old, O Lord, and comfort myself...
Forever, O Lord, Thy word is settled in heaven...
I have more insight than all my teachers, for Thy testimonies are my meditation. I understand more than the aged, because I have observed Thy precepts...
From Thy precepts I get understanding; therefore I hate every false way...
Thou hast rejected all those who wander from Thy statutes, for their deceitfulness is useless...
The unfolding of Thy words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple...
Of old I have known from Thy testimonies, that Thou hast founded them forever” (Psalm 119:16,18, 24,30,35, 37, 46-47, 52, 89, 99-100, 104, 118, 130, 152).


Voices. Too many voices. The Bride of Christ is schizophrenic.

One book. The Book. A compilation of 66, authored by at least 25, over 2 and a half millennia. One voice. The Voice.

Why are we still talking?

American Men (Part III): Dad

I love Bob Dylan because he encourages me to take full advantage of the American gift of individual freedom. I love the Duke because of his American resilience and loyalty. I also love men like Jimmy Stewart, Johnny Cash, Frank Sinatra, and Humphrey Bogart, because they are thoroughly masculine and thoroughly American. But these men are only pop culture icons. Throughout our history there have been men who have worked, fought, and endured hardships of many kinds for the cause of freedom and justice. There have been men whose creativity and ingenuity have produced incredible inventions and beautiful works of art and literature. I couldn't possibly list all of these great Americans here. You can and should read about many of them elsewhere.

I want to write about the greatest and most influential man in the United States: Dad.

The righteous man leads a blameless life; blessed are his children after him.
- Proverbs 20:7

The fact that dads are a very important part of life for boys and girls has been stated before, but it really is true. My dad has been a profound influence and encouragement, and, to a lesser degree, so have other dads in my life: my grandfathers, my uncles, the fathers of friends, and men I've observed at church.

Several months ago, I started writing a poem inspired by these dads (some more directly than others), which was to describe the various qualities of a good father. I suffered writer's block after completing the first part. Then I started reading a book called Tender Warrior by Stu Weber. His "Four Pillars of Manhood" described exactly what I was trying to capture in the poem.

King. Warrior. Mentor. Friend. Four rhythms in a man.

Four undergirding life rhythms throb in the veins of every male child. They pipe a four-part cadence to which every man must march if he chooses to be a complete man. Always intermingled, never exclusive, they provide the primary colors of the masculine rainbow from which all others draw their hue. Blending perfectly with one another, they reflect the light of the One in whose image they are made...

The heart of the king is a provisionary heart. The king looks ahead, watches over, and provides, order, mercy, and justice. He is authority. He is leader...
The heart of the Warrior is a protective heart. The Warrior shields, defends, stands between, and guards...

The heart of the mentor is a teaching heart. The mentor knows; he wants others to know. He models, explains, and trains. He disciples - first his wife and kids, then others. He has a spiritual heart...

The heart of the friend is a loving heart. It is a care-giving heart. Passionate, yes, but more: compassionate ("I will be with you"). The friend in a man is a commitment-maker. And a promise-keeper.

Sourced in Scripture, observed in history, and experienced personally, these four pillars bear the weight of authentic masculinity. They coexist. They overlap. And when they come together in a man, you will know it. You will feel it. You will be touched by it. Like four strands of steel in a cable, they will hold you.
- Weber, Tender Warrior (1993)

I went back to my notebook, and the words flowed quite easily. It's simple, somewhat cliche, and parts of it are sad, so if any country singers or Mark Schultz would like to turn it into a song, feel free to contact me:


John Clayton was a working man
His collar was blue, and his skin was tan
He kept bolts and screws in a coffee can
His thoughts and words were few

John's shop always smelled like tobacco
Playin' "Golden Oldies" on his clock radio
And when he was home, that's where he'd go
What he did there, no one knew

As distant a man as you ever met
In his ways, John was firmly set
Possessed little love, but much respect
His heart was rough like his hands

A loyal member of the union and the Church of Christ
A loyal provider for his kids and wife
And loyal to the Marlboros that took his life
John Clayton was a working man


Lee Jackson was a fighting man
Always the first one to take a stand
Proudly served his country in Viet Nam
His buddies are all dead and buried

Lee winked at a girl at the diner one night
Her boyfriend got jealous and wanted to fight
They went outside, and Lee set him right
And six weeks later got married

When their boys started school, Lee expected the best
Fought coaches who caused them fear and stress
Fought teachers who fed them liberal B.S.
And anything un-American

Lee retired at fifty-four
Dedicated himself to the Pro-life war
Fought injustice 'til he could fight no more
Lee Jackson was a fighting man


Ben Simon was a thinking man
Rarely seen without a book in hand
His knowledge and interests were wide in span
But always denied being "smart"

Ben taught classes at the local J.C.
English Lit. and Intro. to Philosophy
Always willing to talk over lunch or coffee
He challenged their minds and their hearts

Ben's daughter was very proud of her dad
He always could answer the questions she had
He taught her to challenge what she knew was bad
Read her Alice and Peter Pan

Ben lived to be ninety-two years old
His books and papers are gathering mold
The scope of his influence yet to be told
Ben Simon was a thinking man


Tom Warren was a family man
Married at twenty on Hawaiian sand
Traded his car in for a mini van
And dearly loved his wife

Taught his boys how to treat a woman like mom
He took his daughter to her junior prom
No sacrifice was too big for Tom
He lacked money for most of his life

'Cause he spent more time at home than work
Cared more about family than status and perks
And refused to be bullied by corporate jerks
To provide was his only plan

Tom's kids grew up and had kids of their own
His wife passed on and left him alone
But he knew Heaven meant they'd all be home
Tom Warren was a family man


So Happy Father's Day, Dad. Happy Father's Day to my Granddad, my Grandpa, my father-in-law, my uncles. Happy first Father's Day to my best friend, and Happy Father's Day to all the men who have affected me and never knew it. My love and respect for you grows constantly as I grow in my own fatherhood. I pray that I will be a "four-pillared" man to my own family, as you have been to yours.

Happy Father's Day to the true American Hero.

American Men (Part II): Duke

I am not sure when it happened, but at some point in the last five years or so, I think I became a man. Manhood came without fanfare: no bar mitzvah, no flash of lightning, no sudden growth of body hair. Did it happen the day I moved out of my parents' house, the day I got married, or the day I became a father? I don't know. But I'm pretty sure it happened. Granted, I am still in the lifelong process of maturing and learning how to be the man God wants me to be, but I believe the initial change has taken place.

Evidence #1: I’m spending more time in the bathroom.

Maybe the digestion process has grown more complicated with age. Maybe the solitude of the stall has grown more appealing. Maybe reading is easier in there. All I know is that what I used to make fun of my dad for, I now do.

Evidence #2: I find myself liking country music.

I used to loathe country music, and I swore it would never happen, but something about it has become attractive. The simplicity, the patriotism, the pride: things I guess I never really understood when I was younger. Back then, hometown “hicks” were ridiculous to me. Now I respect the working man and his struggles. Although I still love my rock and roll, I have come to appreciate the realness of country music. It extols the little pleasures of life that I used to take for granted. It laments losses and hardships I didn’t used to understand. After a while, intellectual idealism can leave a bad taste in your mouth, and you have to wash it out with a little bite of country fried real life.

Evidence #3: I love John Wayne.

When I was a kid, I thought westerns were boring. When there wasn’t a gunfight or a chase scene, the stories seemed to be very slow, and even when there was some action, it was usually pretty repetitive. The dialogue was sparse and dated, the heroes and villains one-dimensional, and the scenery mostly bland. Not only that, but John Wayne was mean. He was constantly telling people what to do, punching people who tried to stand up to him, and keeping the people who cared about him at an emotional distance. I just didn’t get it.

But I get it now. The Duke was a 100% man. And as such, I did not understand him as a boy. His movies might romanticize what was in reality somewhat of a scary, hedonistic period of our country’s history, but that is why they are appealing to men. You see, we suffer today from what Rush Limbaugh has called the “chickification of America”. Hard work and loyalty are prized less than being “in touch with your emotions”. Right and wrong have been blurred, and we care more about hurting people’s feelings than we do about justice. But in Hollywood’s version of the American West, there was honor. There was strength. There were good guys and there were bad guys, and John Wayne was the best guy. He knew what was right, and he'd be sure to let you know if you were wrong. He protected the innocent and punished the guilty. He would kill and die for his cause. He knew how to treat a woman (see the ending of McLintock!). He was proud of what he accomplished with his own hands, and he loved his country.

You ask me why I love her? Well, give me time, and I'll explain
Have you seen a Kansas sunset or an Arizona rain?
Have you drifted on a bayou down Louisiana way?
Have you watched the cold fog drifting over San Francisco Bay?

Have you heard a Bobwhite calling in the Carolina pines?
Or heard the bellow of a diesel in the Appalachia mines?
Does the call of Niagara thrill you when you hear her waters roar?
Do you look with awe and wonder at a Massachusetts shore
Where men who braved a hard new world, first stepped on Plymouth Rock?
And do you think of them when you stroll along a New York City dock?

Have you seen a snowflake drifting in the Rockies way up high?
Have you seen the sun come blazing down from a bright Nevada sky?
Do you hail to the Columbia as she rushes to the sea
Or bow your head at Gettysburg in our struggle to be free?

Have you seen the mighty Tetons? Have you watched an eagle soar?
Have you seen the Mississippi roll along Missouri's shore?
Have you felt a chill at Michigan, when on a winters day
Her waters rage along the shore in a thunderous display?
Does the word "Aloha" make you warm?
Do you stare in disbelief when you see the surf come roaring in at Waimea reef?

From Alaska's gold to the Everglades, from the Rio Grande to Maine
My heart cries out, my pulse runs fast at the might of her domain
You ask me why I love her? I've a million reasons why
My beautiful America, beneath God's wide, wide sky
- John Wayne, America, Why I Love Her (1973), written by John Mitchum

Amen, cowboy.

American Men (Part I): Dylan

This was the rebel rebelling against the rebellion.
- Robbie Robertson, Rolling Stone "100 Greatest Artists of All Time

He has been called a great poet, an inspiration, a musical messiah, a jester, a Judas, a rebel, a revolutionary, the voice of a generation. To me, Bob Dylan is the embodiment of the American spirit of individualism.

In the early 1960’s, the young songwriter gained popularity as a “protest” singer, speaking out against the Man’s attacks on freedom and equality. However, he soon lost interest in the activist movement, and started playing rock and roll. This was not a popular decision, and many of his former fans felt betrayed by the change. But Dylan didn’t care. In the summer of 1965, he appeared at the Newport Folk Festival, brazenly wielding an electric guitar. He was booed during the entire performance, but that didn’t stop him from continuing to record and tour as a rock musician.

We’ve been playing this music ever since we were ten years old. Folk music was just an interruption, which was very useful. If you don’t like it, that’s fine. This is not English music you are listening to. You really haven’t heard American music before… You can take it or leave it. If there’s something you disagree with that’s great. I’m sick of people asking, “What does it mean?” It means nothing.
- Dylan to an angry audience in England during his 1966 world tour

A few years later, he changed direction again, this time delving into an older tradition:

Many of the songs had a mysterious, musty, olde-world flavour, drawing together strands of folk, country, blues and gospel music that was totally out of step with the spirit of the times. In its way, it was as revolutionary as Dylan’s electric heresy. “Psychedelic rock was taking over the universe and we were singing these homespun ballads,” as Dylan himself later observed.
- Nigel Williamson, The Rough Guide to Bob Dylan (2006)

He challenged people’s minds and opinions throughout the 60’s and 70’s, sometimes because he had a message to share, and other times simply because he did things the way he wanted. He fell in and out of favor with the public, and went through a period of reclusion, but by the late 70’s, he was generally well liked. Well liked, that is, until he committed celebrity suicide by becoming a born-again Christian. As with his former passions, Dylan was totally sold out to his new faith. He started writing gospel rock songs, and abandoned his old material completely for a while. Of course, he was again attacked by critics and former fans who were not impressed with his change of direction. And again, he boldly stood by his decision.

The spirit of the Anti-Christ is loose right now. There’s only two kinds of people. There’s saved people and there’s lost people. Remember that I told you that. You may never see me again. You may not see me, but sometime down the line you remember you heard it here, that Jesus is the Lord. Every knee shall bow.
- Dylan to a heckling crowd in Tempe, Arizona during his evangelistic tour

During the early 80’s, Dylan was a zealot. He was perceived as being judgmental, and many of his lyrics featured fire and brimstone, apocalyptic images. After a few years, he cooled down. He started performing his old material again, and his new stuff became less blatantly religious. He still made use of Biblical themes, but they were presented in a more symbolic, traditionally Dylanesque manner.

In 1988, Dylan embarked on what has come to be known as the Never Ending Tour, giving most of his attention to live performances. In the 90’s, he recorded two albums of traditional folk and blues songs, which were not popular. However, this reconnection with the roots of American music led to the release of new music written in the same style in the latter half of the decade and on into the 2000’s. Dylan’s recent work has been received very well, as has his XM Satellite Radio show, Theme Time Radio Hour, which explored nightly themes like “Weather” and “Coffee” through music of various times, places, and genres. The songs he played and his commentary on them opened his listeners up to new worlds of music: worlds that Dylan himself has lived in.

The first time I heard Bob Dylan I thought of him as something of a civil war type, a kind of 19th-century troubadour, a maverick American spirit. The reediness of his voice and the spareness of his words go straight to the heart of America.
- Gregory Peck, 1997

Old folk tunes, blues, country, rockabilly, swing, jazz, rock and roll. The music of America is in Bob Dylan’s blood. Her music is in his blood, and her spirit is in his soul. America is about freedom, and Bob Dylan understands that. When he saw something wrong with the world, he said so. When he wanted to play a new kind of music, he did. When he accepted Jesus Christ, he refused to hide it. When he reached his 60's, and his voice began to show the strain of constant singing and smoking, he continued doing what he loves. He can write poetry, but he’s no Shakespeare. He can play the guitar, but he’s no Jimmy Page. He can carry a tune, but he’s certainly no Frank Sinatra. And he’s never tried to be. He has always been who he wants to be, regardless of popular opinion, and that is why I am a Bob Dylan fan.

The heart of America’s beauty lies not in her spacious skies or amber waves of grain, but in the freedom that she gives. That does not mean we live in anarchy, nor does it mean we should use our freedom to hurt others.

Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God.
- 1 Peter 2:16

However, we are free to make our own decisions. There are those who would like to make our decisions for us. They “know better” how we should eat, what we should drive, how much electricity we should use, where our money should go, how our kids should be educated, and how much influence our religious beliefs should have on our everyday lives. They do not understand individual freedom the way you and I and Bob Dylan do. They want us to shut up and play the music they like. But don’t do it. Play rock and roll. Play country-blues-swing-folk-gospel. Play what you are convicted to play. Don’t use your freedom to sin, but don’t let the Man define sin (that's God's job). Be like Bob. Be an American.

My May Flower

May 23, 2004

I spent the night after my graduation party at my best friend’s house. I felt pretty awkward the last few times I had been over there. His sister and I had been an “item” for a while, but that was over now. I was still in love with her. It was hard to be around her, but how could I turn down a B movie night with my buddy? Besides, her shoulder seemed to be thawing as of late.

When we got to the house, their parents went to bed, and we popped Dementia 13 into the DVD player. There was an empty seat on the couch by Elizabeth. I decided to test the water. I expected her to get up and move to another spot. She didn’t. Interesting. After an hour and a half of black-and-white murder and creepy dolls, we moved on to Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter, a classic love story that would soon become a part of our love story.

A few minutes into the movie, I looked down and noticed Elizabeth’s hand resting on the cushion next to me. It was pretty. I laid my hand down next to hers. She didn’t move away. I left it there for a few minutes. I moved it a little closer. Our pinkies touched. She still didn’t move away. A few more minutes. Our pinkies overlapped. I moved my whole hand on top of hers. Several minutes. I moved it down. Our fingers interlocked. My heart was beating quickly. Elizabeth’s brothers had fallen asleep. I scooted closer to her.

“I’m crazy about you,” I whispered. “Do you want to be my girl again?”

She smiled and nodded. She leaned closer to me, and I put my arm around her. The movie concluded, and the menu loop played and played as we sat there talking. I was in Heaven.


May 19, 2006

Elizabeth and her family had moved in December. We were heartbroken when we found out, but it turned out to be a memorable part of our relationship. We called each other nearly every night, and I drove the three hour round trip nearly every weekend to see her. I grew to love MO-142 in all of her curvaceous, hilly glory. I soaked in the scenery, the solitude, and the anticipation as I passed the time by listening to old time radio serials and checking off landmarks. The huge curve where I almost ran off the road every time: 30 more minutes. The Eleven Point River bridge: 20 more minutes. The old white church: 10 more minutes until our sweet reunion.

During that time, I had been faithfully saving for an engagement ring. When I finally got one, I asked Elizabeth out on a date. Because she had moved six months before graduation, she was allowed to finish her high school classes in the fall. This meant that she would miss her senior prom. Needing a proper ruse to hide my proposing intentions, I told Elizabeth that we were going someplace special, and that she should wear a nice dress, because I was going to take her to a private prom substitute.

So we dressed up, and I took her to the restaurant and park where we went on our first date. After dinner, we took a walk by the river. When we came to the spot where I had kissed her for the first time, I pulled out a walkman and we each took a headphone. We danced (awkwardly on my part) to a mixed tape I had made: Frank Sinatra, Sam Cooke, Relient K - you know the type.

After “Earth Angel”, I stopped the tape.

“Oh, I almost forgot. I have a graduation present for you.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. Close your eyes.”

She closed her eyes, and I put a small jewelry box in her hand. I told her to look. She could hardly contain her excitement as she opened the box. She looked down at the ring and immediately started squealing / laughing / crying / hugging.

“Will you marry me?” I asked.


May 26, 2007

I don’t know why I wasn’t nervous. This was the biggest day of my life, but right now I was just fine goofing around with my friends and waiting for things to start rolling. I hadn’t seen Elizabeth since about 10:00 that morning when we went to get the car washed and get breakfast from Sonic. I was anxious to see her. Just a little bit longer.

I looked at the clock. Ten minutes. Then I started to feel it.

“What if I do something wrong? What if I forget what I’m supposed to say? Holy crap, I’m getting married!”

We made our way down to the platform. Everything was perfect: the weather, the lake, my hair. Now I was just waiting on my bride. Then the music started. Foregoing the traditional “duh dut duh duh”, she chose enter to a song that her great-grandfather had recorded for his wife years ago on the radio:

“If God made a sweeter girl
Than you, I’d like to meet her
But I know I’ll never meet her
For there’s none sweet as you”

The crowd stood up, blocking my view. I tried to see over their heads, but I only caught a few stray glimpses. Then she reached the aisle. She was gorgeous. We came together, we held hands, we looked into each other’s eyes, we served communion, we vowed our dedication, we kissed, we ate, and we left.

I will never ever look back.

May 10, 2009

It was Elizabeth’s first Mother’s Day. Our sweet little girl was twenty-seven days old. My wife beamed with pride as she stood up to be recognized at church. I was proud too – of both of them. Elizabeth had sacrificed a lot over the past few months. She went through extreme discomfort, both before and after Mollie’s birth, not to mention the actual pain of labor (which I do not feel the need to describe to you). She quit her job to stay home and take care of her baby night and day. Our families were hours away, I worked and went to class, and when I was home I was busy with homework. She felt frustrated, fatigued, and lonely at times, but she persevered. She was the heroine of our young family. And even after all she had been through physically and emotionally, she was joyful, she was dedicated, she was loving, and she was beautiful.


May 26, 2010

Elizabeth,

After six years of being your boyfriend, three years of being your husband, and one year of parenting by your side, I just want you to know that I am still deeply in love with you. May our children inherit the virtues of their mother, May we always put the Lord and each other first, May we never lose our romance, and May we live long in loving companionship.

Happy Anniversary

Solid Rock

God gave rock and roll to you, gave rock and roll to you, put it in the soul of everyone.
- Kiss, “God Gave Rock and Roll to You II”, Revenge (1991)

Some would consider this a blasphemous oxymoron. You may hear sermons or read books that condemn rock and roll, even Christian rock, for its overall “Satanic nature”. While some rock bands do use Hellish lyrics and imagery, while some exemplify and promote immoral lifestyles (as do many musicians of any given genre), while I, unlike some others of my generation, respect the “Traditional Church” and its leaders and get no “kicks” from criticizing them, and while I would not normally accept the philosophies of 1970’s glam rockers over those of seasoned pastors, I have to side with Kiss on this one. Rock and roll does not belong to the Devil any more than sex or food or any other pleasurable thing belongs to him.

To do aught good never will be our task;
But ever to do ill our sole delight:
As being the contrary to His high will
Whom we resist. If then His providence
Out of our evil seek to bring forth good,
Our labor must be to pervert that end,
And out of good still to find means of evil:
Which oft-times may succeed, so as perhaps
Shall grieve Him, if I fail not, and disturb
His inmost counsels from their destin'd aim.
- Satan, John Milton's Paradise Lost (1667)

James tells us that every good thing in this world comes from God. God creates; Satan perverts. God gave us sex; Satan turns us to lust. God gave us food; Satan turns us to gluttony. God gave rock and roll to you; Satan can pervert it just like anything else.

God is omnipresent. His Word is vast and comprehensive. As an example of this, and as an expression of my love of classic rock, I present the Solid Rock project. In 2006, the Muse led me to seek out scripture references to correlate with each line of Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” (For example: the line, “I am just a poor boy, nobody loves me” = Proverbs 14:20, "The poor are shunned even by their neighbors, but the rich have many friends"). Like a puzzle, this activity proved both fun and beneficial. It tested my Biblical knowledge and exercised my lookin’ up muscles. Whether anyone else found it entertaining or not, I don’t know, but I enjoyed it. A couple of years later, I completed a similar project using Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven”. Both of these have been posted elsewhere, but I’ve decided to share them here, as well as a new one I just finished. I recommend biblegateway.com for easy reference. Enjoy.


"Bohemian Rhapsody"
Queen, A Night at the Opera (1975)

Is this the real life (John 18:38a)
Is this just fantasy (Proverbs 12:11)
Caught in a landslide (Numbers 16:31-34)
No escape from reality (Jonah 1:8-10)
Open your eyes (Mark 8:25)
Look up to the skies and see (Genesis 15:5)
I'm just a poor boy (poor boy) (Luke 16:20-21)
I need no sympathy (Job 2:11)
Because I'm easy come, easy go (Ecclesiastes 5:15)
Little high, little low (Luke 19:1-4)
Anyway the wind blows (Ecclesiastes 1:6)
Doesn't really matter to me (Genesis 25:32)
To me (Jeremiah 2:1)

Mama (Genesis 3:20)
Just killed a man (Genesis 4:8)
Put a gun against his head (Judges 4:21)
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead (1 Samuel 17:48-49)
Mama (Proverbs 31:28)
Life had just begun (Genesis 1:27)
But now I've gone and thrown it all away (Genesis 3:6)
Mama oo oo oo oo (Exodus 4:25)
Didn't mean to make you cry (John 11:35)
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow (Matthew 16:21)
Carry on, carry on (Philippians 3:14)
As if nothing really matters (Ecclesiastes 1:2)

Too late (John 11:21)
My time has come (John 12:23)
Sends shivers down my spine (Matthew 24:12)
Body's aching all the time (Job 30:17)
Goodbye, everybody (Genesis 19:24-25)
I've got to go (Exodus 4:18)
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth (Matthew 27:5)
Mama oo oo oo oo (Romans 8:22)
(Any way the wind blows) (Psalm 104:4)
I don't want to die (Mark 14:36)
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all (Job 3:11)

I see a little silhouetto of a man (Ezekiel 1:26)
Scaramouche, Scaramouche (Judges 11:3)
Will you do the Fandango? (2 Samuel 6:14-15)
Thunderbolts and lightning (Psalm 18:12)
Very very frightening me! (Luke 2:9)
Galileo (Galileo) (Acts 18:12)
Galileo (Galileo) (Acts 18:16)
Galileo Figaro (Numbers 22:16-17)
Magnifico! (1 Kings 10:23)
I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me (Proverbs 14:20)
He's just a poor boy from a poor family (1 Kings 17:12)
Spare him his life from this monstrosity! (Job 13:21)
Easy come easy go (Ecclesiastes 2:18)
Will you let me go? (Psalm 142:7)
Bismillah! No! We will not let you go! (Jude 6)
Let him go! (Genesis 32:26)
Bismillah! We will not let you go! (Deuteronomy 28:42)
Let him go! (Isaiah 42:7)
Bismillah! We will not let you go! (Matthew 27:21)
Let me go! (Psalm 116:16)
Will not let you go! (Genesis 40:21-22)
Let me go! (Luke 23:39)
Will not let you go! (Psalm 107:10)
Let me go! (Acts 16:26)
No, no, no, no, no, no, no! (Mark 14:67-71)
Oh mama mia, mama mia (Luke 2:6-7)
Mama mia let me go! (Genesis 2:24)
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me (Matthew 12:24)
For me (Romans 5:8)
For meeeeee! (1 Chronicles 4:10)

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye (Acts 7:51-60)
So you think you can love me and leave me to die (Proverbs 7:21-23)
Oh, baby (Song of Solomon 4:1)
Can't do this to me baby (Psalm 22:1)
Just gotta get out (Revelation 20:7)
Just gotta get right outta here (Genesis 39:12)

Nothing really matters (Titus 3:9)
Anyone can see (Luke 24:45)
Nothing really matters (Matthew 16:26)
Nothing really matters to me (Ecclesiastes 2:17)

Any way the wind blows... (John 3:8)


"Stairway to Heaven"
Led Zeppelin, The fourth album (1971)

There's a lady who's sure (Ruth 1:15-16)
All that glitters is gold (Haggai 2:8)
And she's buying a stairway to heaven (Genesis 28:12)
When she gets there she knows (Luke 1:41-44)
If the stores are all closed (Luke 2:7)
With a word she can get what she came for (Judges 16:15-17)
And she's buying a stairway to heaven (Genesis 11:4)

There's a sign on the wall (Daniel 5:5)
But she wants to be sure (Joshua 2:12-13)
'Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings (Matthew 13:34)
In a tree by the brook (Revelation 22:1-2)
There's a songbird who sings (Psalm 63:7)
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiving (Psalm 94:11)

It makes me wonder (Luke 1:29)
It makes me wonder (Ecclesiastes 6:12)

There's a feeling I get (Job 37:1)
When I look to the west (Joshua 12:7)
And my spirit is crying for leaving (Luke 23:46)
In my thoughts I have seen (Joel 2:28)
Rings of smoke through the trees (James 3:5)
And the voices of those who stand looking (Matthew 27:39-40)

It makes me wonder (Daniel 2:3)
It really makes me wonder (Acts 2:12)

And it's whispered that soon (Job 4:12)
If we all call the tune (1 Samuel 18:6)
Then the piper will lead us to reason (Proverbs 4:11)
And a new day will dawn (Zephaniah 3:5)
For those who stand long (Matthew 20:6)
And the forests will echo with laughter (1 Chronicles 16:33)

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow (Exodus 3:4)
Don't be alarmed now (Mark 16:6)
It's just a spring clean for the May queen (Jeremiah 7:18)
Yes there are two paths you can go by (Matthew 7:13-14)
But in the long run (Job 19:25)
There's still time to change the road you're on (Job 22:15)

And it makes me wonder (Psalm 35:11)

Your head is humming and it won't go (Exodus 19:16)
In case you don't know (1 Corinthians 10:1)
The piper's calling you to join him (Daniel 3:5)
Dear lady can you hear the wind blow (John 3:8)
And did you know (Isaiah 40:21)
Your stairway lies on the whisperin' wind (1 Kings 19:11-13)

And as we wind on down the road (Luke 9:57)
Our shadows taller than our souls (Ecclesiastes 8:13)
There walks a lady we all know (Ruth 3:11)
Who shines white light and wants to show (Matthew 17:2)
How everything still turns to gold (2 Samuel 22:29)
And if you listen very hard (Exodus 23:22)
The tune will come to you at last (Psalm 40:3)
When all are one and one is all (Genesis 2:24)
To be a rock and not to roll (Matthew 7:24-25)

And she's buying a stairway to heaven (Isaiah 14:13)


"Hotel California"
The Eagles, Hotel California (1976)

On a dark desert highway (Isaiah 40:3)
Cool wind in my hair (John 3:8)
Warm smell of colitas (Song of Solomon 4:16)
Rising up through the air (1 Thessalonians 4:16-17)
Up ahead in the distance (Genesis 22:4)
I saw shimmering light (2 Peter 1:19)
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim (Genesis 27:1)
I had to stop for the night (Genesis 28:11)
There she stood in the doorway (Proverbs 7:10)
I heard the mission bell (Exodus 28:35)
And I was thinking to myself (Ecclesiastes 1:16)
"This could be Heaven or this could be Hell" (Matthew 8:11-12)
Then she lit up a candle (Proverbs 31:18)
And she showed me the way (Psalm 25:4)
There were voices down the corridor (Isaiah 6:4)
I thought I heard them say (Genesis 37:17)

"Welcome to the Hotel California (Luke 2:7)
Such a lovely place (Psalm 84:1)
Such a lovely face (Esther 2:7)
Plenty of room at the Hotel California (Genesis 24:25)
Any time of year (Galatians 4:10)
You can find it here" (Jeremiah 29:13)

Her mind is Tiffany-twisted (1 Peter 3:3)
She got the Mercedes Benz (Song of Solomon 6:12)
She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys (Romans 1:27)
She calls friends (Lamentations 1:2)
How they dance in the courtyard (2 Samuel 6:14)
Sweet summer sweat (Jonah 4:8)
Some dance to remember (Luke 22:19)
Some dance to forget (Isaiah 65:17)
So I called up the Captain (Judges 5:14)
"Please bring me my wine" (Numbers 15:10)
He said, "We haven't had that spirit here (John 7:39)
Since 1969" (1 Peter 4:3)
And still those voices are calling from far away (Isaiah 15:4)
Wake you up in the middle of the night (Zechariah 4:7)
Just to hear them say (1 Samuel 3:10)

"Welcome to the Hotel California (Luke 10:34)
Such a lovely place (Genesis 2:8)
Such a lovely face (Song of Solomon 2:14)
They livin' it up at the Hotel California (Nehemiah 8:12)
What a nice surprise (Joshua 10:9)
Bring your alibis (Acts 7:27)

Mirrors on the ceiling (Song of Solomon 1:4)
The pink champagne on ice (Isaiah 5:22)
And she said, "We are all just prisoners here (Psalm 107:10)
Of our own device" (Psalm 107:11)
And in the master's chambers (Ezra 8:29)
They gathered for the feast (Luke 14:15)
They stab it with their steely knives (2 Samuel 4:6)
But they just can't kill the beast (Revelation 13:3)
Last thing I remember (2 Peter 1:13)
I was running for the door (Genesis 39:12)
I had to find the passage back (Ezekiel 42:4)
To the place I was before (Isaiah 35:10)
"Relax," said the night man (Ezekiel 3:17)
"We are programmed to receive (John 1:16)
You can check out any time you like (Numbers 10:30)
But you can never leave" (1 Thessalonians 5:3)


"Bohemian Rhapsody" written by Freddie Mercury (Leviticus 18:22)

"Stairway to Heaven" written by Jimmy Page (Amos 6:5) and Robert Plant (1 Chronicles 15:22)

"Hotel California" written by Don Felder, Don Henley and Glenn Frey (Psalm 103:5)


Solid Rock was developed by Seth L. (Genesis 4:25)

One

Today is my daughter’s first birthday! In honor of the occasion, I’ve decided to share the first and latest entries of the journal I keep for her:


March 24, 2009

Dear Mollie,

As you can see, the first half of this book was written to/about me by your Grandma. Last night, I decided that I should write the second half for you, my firstborn child.

Actually, you aren’t quite born yet. Your mom is 36 weeks and 4 days pregnant with you. As soon as we found out you were a girl, we knew your name would be Mollie (it was my idea to spell it with an I-E – I hope you like it that way). We live in a one bedroom apartment right now, but we have already set up half of the room to be yours, and it almost looks like a separate little nursery. Everything is pink and brown, and we already have lots of clothes for you, so we really hope the doctor wasn’t wrong about your gender!

Even though we haven’t met you yet, we love you very very much. We want you to be born as soon as possible, so we can see your pretty face and hug you and kiss you. I like to put my head on Mommy’s tummy and feel you move.

Well, I guess that’s all I have to write for now. I’ll write more when you’re born.

I love you,

Daddy


April 13, 2010

Dear Mollie,

Today is your first birthday! I have two jobs right now, and I have to work at both of them today, so I won’t get to see you very much. I’m sorry. But we’re having your party on Saturday, and Mommy and I are going to spend all day with you! We’re having it at [information omitted – I don’t want any of you creepers showing up], and there are a lot of people coming.

You have grown a lot since I last wrote in your journal. You haven’t walked yet, but you are crawling and cruising around on the furniture (very fast!) and can stand up on your own. You like to talk, but the only words we can understand are “momma”, “bear”, “pretty”, and “bye-bye”, which is your favorite (and the only one we’re sure you’re actually saying). Sometimes you say “bye-bye” when nobody is going anywhere. We think that means you want to go – you’re very adventurous. You like to be outside, but you don’t like the feeling of grass (just like a girl). You love exploring things – climbing the stairs when we aren’t looking, opening boxes and cabinets and pulling everything out, etc. You are also very interested in jewelry and flowers and other “pippy” (pretty) things. You love music and have started singing and dancing along. You love food and will eat almost anything. You aren’t afraid of strangers, but, just like me and your mom, you have to get to know someone before you really open up to them. Your blonde hair is getting longer, and your blue eyes are always shining. You are generally very well-behaved, and you capture the hearts of everyone you meet. Mommy and I love you very, very much and look forward to getting you know you better and better as the years go by.

Happy Birthday, my sweet princess!

Love,

Daddy

Wanderlust

Warning: This post contains material of a nerdy nature.

In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war...
- 2 Samuel 11:1a

The pleasures of spring have been jawed about so often that I am rather shy of saying anything about the lovely weather that has succeeded to the snow here. Do you know what it feels like when you go out for the first time without an overcoat and feel all the nerves funny up the back of your legs and see the clouds blowing about a really blue sky? All the same I know spring too well to really like her. She invariably makes you feel lonely & dissatisfied & long for “The land where I shall never be, the love that I shall never see”*.
- C.S. Lewis, Letter of February 20, 1917 to Arthur Greeves
* Paraphrasing Andrew Lang’s History of English Literature (1912)

Although I see my love every day, and although I live in one of the most beautiful parts of the world, I sympathize with Lewis. The arrival of Spring tends to produce in me a sense of longing. This longing has no specific object. Its manifestations are various. Sometimes at work, as I idly stare out the window, Spring whispers in my mind’s ear: “How great would it be if you walked out right now? No two-week notice, no clocking out, no ‘Goodbye, Susan. You’ve been a great manager.’ Just leave. Close your bank accounts, go to Bass Pro, and spend everything on supplies. Then head for some uninhabited mountain and spend the rest of your life living off the land. It would be awesome!” On Sundays, as my family and I drive home from church, she says, “Don’t go home. Roll down the windows and keep driving until the gas runs out.” Spring makes me want to listen to music of a different sort, read epic stories of adventure, go places I’ve never been, sleep on the ground, and eat meat cooked over an open flame. She leads my imagination through time and space to lands of great heroism. My thoughts are filled with kings, knights, explorers, pioneers, cowboys, soldiers, angels, monsters, and yes, hobbits.

It is a fair tale, though it is sad, as are all the tales of Middle-earth, and yet it may lift up your hearts.
- Aragorn, The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien (1965)

I am reading the Trilogy for the third time. My first and second readings were also in the Spring. I suppose that the richness of Tolkien’s work comes through in new ways with each visit. This time, however, it seems like I am aware of every detail. It has been seven Springs since my last foray into those blessed pages. I have, of course, kept contact with the peoples of Middle-earth through Peter Jackson’s incredible films, Rankin-Bass’ and Saul Zaentz’ trippy, yet charming cartoons, and the BBC’s thirteen hour radio drama, but none of these are as vastly beautiful as the original work. Because of these retellings, I have memorized the basic plot, but there is so much more to be found. Having re-read The Silmarillion and The Hobbit a couple of months ago, the history of Middle-earth and the Ring is fresh in my mind. When characters refer to Gil-galad, Tinuviel, Elendil, and even Sauron, I know the stories behind those names.

A college classmate of mine once described his high school library’s shortcomings by stating: “Our first copy of The Lord of the Rings had pictures from the movie on the cover!” My personal library is more fortunate. The books themselves are visibly well-loved. I received the 1978 “Revised Edition” paperbacks as a gift from my uncle. The covers are Dijon mustard yellow with red titles, a black Tolkien signature, and a small graphic of the Ring and its Elvish inscription surrounding the Eye of Sauron. The cover of each book is held together with clear packing tape. The pages are yellowing, with edges worn like a favorite pack of cards. The Kelly green box in which they reside is similarly worn, yet perfectly intact. Yes, this collection will surely hold a place in my heart and on my bookshelf until it is bequeathed to another.

You will have to excuse my adoring tangent. But, as is said of Aragorn:

Not all those who wander are lost.
- J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

And, as I have already stated, Spring inspires wandering. I read Tolkien in the Spring, because he both fuels and fulfills my longing. His work is laced with natural beauty, music, friendship, history, legend, and adventure: the very embodiment of the Spirit of Spring.

There are many lands “where I shall never be”, but that should not stop me from exploring the mountains, rivers, caves, and forests of my bookshelf, my imagination, and my beautiful Ozark home.

[Bilbo] used often to say there was only one Road; that it was like a great river: its springs were at every doorstep, and every path was its tributary.
- Frodo, The Fellowship of the Ring


So I'm packing my bags for the Misty Mountains where the spirits go now, over the hills where the spirits fly.
- Led Zeppelin, "Misty Mountain Hop", The fourth album (1971)

I think I’ll take my girls on a hike this weekend.

Escape

I, Burgeon, am responsible for the present constitution of the firm of Burden and Burgeon. I am responsible for the professional existence, almost for the existence at all, of Burden. I deliberately called him forth from his obscurity - summoned him, as it were, from the realm of the Mothers, and set him up in space and time. It is not the fault of either of us that we have since become involved in a complex of responsibilities from which there may be no way out until the shadows lengthen, the busy world is hushed and our work is done. It may not be the fault of either of us - it is certainly not his - that he is turning into a sort of Frankenstein. But in all my present bewilderment I am at least certain of this: that if, without injuring anyone but him, I can do anything to arrest the process and keep my own end up, I ought to do it.
- G.A.L. Burgeon, This Ever Diverse Pair (1950)

G.A.L. Burgeon was a fictional character and pseudonym of Owen Barfield, author, philosopher, and member of the Inklings, an Oxford-based literary group of which C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien were also a part. This Ever Diverse Pair is the story of Burgeon's struggles with Burden, his overbearing business partner, who represents Barfield's busy, practical “self”, as opposed to his creative, “true” self (Burgeon). Burden constantly demands Burgeon's attention, often interrupting or distracting him from the things he loves.

Like Barfield, we have all inherited Burdens from our first father:

To Adam [the Lord] said, “Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, 'You must not eat of it,' cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life. It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return."
- Genesis 3:17-19

Through our disobedience to the perfect Way, we have doomed ourselves to lives of “painful toil”. We have called Burden “from the realm of the Mothers, and set him up in space and time.” Our survival is now contingent on sweat, and we will never be rid of our Frankenstein until we “return to the ground”.

What does a man get for all the toil and anxious striving with which he labors under the sun? All his days his work is pain and grief; even at night his mind does not rest. This too is meaningless.
- Ecclesiastes 2:22-23

However, in His mercy, God has allowed the fallen to keep some good things: things that (I am convinced) contain a piece of eternity, things that mean more than our inescapable obligations, things for our Burgeons to love.

A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.
- Ecclesiastes 2:24-26

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
- James 1:17

I love my family. I love books, music, and movies. I love humor. I love good food. I love history and philosophy. I love pursuing my mysterious, yet knowable, just, yet merciful, holy and powerful, yet personal God. I love His Word and wish people had more respect for it. I love His Church, and I hope that my generation will strengthen, rather than hurt her. I love His creation and the fact that He gave me the ability to create.

This blog is dedicated to the things my Burgeon loves. My Burden, although an unfortunately necessary part of my life, will not be allowed to speak of his successes, failures, aspirations, or frustrations here. I was reluctant to begin blogging, because I did not wish to contribute to Narcissus' legacy, which has steadily increased with the birth of Facebook and Twitter. Barfield's Burgeon considered this as well:

Of course, someone will say that all this is a subtle form of exhibitionism or narcissism or some nastyism or other. It might be if I were writing to please others. But in point of fact it's a matter of complete - well almost complete - indifference whether anybody else ever reads it or not. I am doing it for my own salvation. Burden is eating me up, my time, my wit, my memory, my 'shaping spirit of imagination', my whole me.
- Burgeon, This Ever Diverse Pair

I invite you to read if you wish. I invite feedback and discussion. I hope to make you think, laugh, maybe even discover new interests. But this blog is for my Burgeon's salvation. I do promise that he is a gentleman. He will be honest, but he will not make you uncomfortable. He is not seeking a therapist or a punching bag.

Simply escape...