I want to write about the greatest and most influential man in the United States: Dad.
The righteous man leads a blameless life; blessed are his children after him.
- Proverbs 20:7
The fact that dads are a very important part of life for boys and girls has been stated before, but it really is true. My dad has been a profound influence and encouragement, and, to a lesser degree, so have other dads in my life: my grandfathers, my uncles, the fathers of friends, and men I've observed at church.
Several months ago, I started writing a poem inspired by these dads (some more directly than others), which was to describe the various qualities of a good father. I suffered writer's block after completing the first part. Then I started reading a book called Tender Warrior by Stu Weber. His "Four Pillars of Manhood" described exactly what I was trying to capture in the poem.
King. Warrior. Mentor. Friend. Four rhythms in a man.
Four undergirding life rhythms throb in the veins of every male child. They pipe a four-part cadence to which every man must march if he chooses to be a complete man. Always intermingled, never exclusive, they provide the primary colors of the masculine rainbow from which all others draw their hue. Blending perfectly with one another, they reflect the light of the One in whose image they are made...
The heart of the king is a provisionary heart. The king looks ahead, watches over, and provides, order, mercy, and justice. He is authority. He is leader...
The heart of the Warrior is a protective heart. The Warrior shields, defends, stands between, and guards...
The heart of the mentor is a teaching heart. The mentor knows; he wants others to know. He models, explains, and trains. He disciples - first his wife and kids, then others. He has a spiritual heart...
The heart of the friend is a loving heart. It is a care-giving heart. Passionate, yes, but more: compassionate ("I will be with you"). The friend in a man is a commitment-maker. And a promise-keeper.
Sourced in Scripture, observed in history, and experienced personally, these four pillars bear the weight of authentic masculinity. They coexist. They overlap. And when they come together in a man, you will know it. You will feel it. You will be touched by it. Like four strands of steel in a cable, they will hold you.
- Weber, Tender Warrior (1993)
I went back to my notebook, and the words flowed quite easily. It's simple, somewhat cliche, and parts of it are sad, so if any country singers or Mark Schultz would like to turn it into a song, feel free to contact me:
John Clayton was a working man
His collar was blue, and his skin was tan
He kept bolts and screws in a coffee can
His thoughts and words were few
John's shop always smelled like tobacco
Playin' "Golden Oldies" on his clock radio
And when he was home, that's where he'd go
What he did there, no one knew
As distant a man as you ever met
In his ways, John was firmly set
Possessed little love, but much respect
His heart was rough like his hands
A loyal member of the union and the Church of Christ
A loyal provider for his kids and wife
And loyal to the Marlboros that took his life
John Clayton was a working man
Lee Jackson was a fighting man
Always the first one to take a stand
Proudly served his country in Viet Nam
His buddies are all dead and buried
Lee winked at a girl at the diner one night
Her boyfriend got jealous and wanted to fight
They went outside, and Lee set him right
And six weeks later got married
When their boys started school, Lee expected the best
Fought coaches who caused them fear and stress
Fought teachers who fed them liberal B.S.
And anything un-American
Lee retired at fifty-four
Dedicated himself to the Pro-life war
Fought injustice 'til he could fight no more
Lee Jackson was a fighting man
Ben Simon was a thinking man
Rarely seen without a book in hand
His knowledge and interests were wide in span
But always denied being "smart"
Ben taught classes at the local J.C.
English Lit. and Intro. to Philosophy
Always willing to talk over lunch or coffee
He challenged their minds and their hearts
Ben's daughter was very proud of her dad
He always could answer the questions she had
He taught her to challenge what she knew was bad
Read her Alice and Peter Pan
Ben lived to be ninety-two years old
His books and papers are gathering mold
The scope of his influence yet to be told
Ben Simon was a thinking man
Tom Warren was a family man
Married at twenty on Hawaiian sand
Traded his car in for a mini van
And dearly loved his wife
Taught his boys how to treat a woman like mom
He took his daughter to her junior prom
No sacrifice was too big for Tom
He lacked money for most of his life
'Cause he spent more time at home than work
Cared more about family than status and perks
And refused to be bullied by corporate jerks
To provide was his only plan
Tom's kids grew up and had kids of their own
His wife passed on and left him alone
But he knew Heaven meant they'd all be home
Tom Warren was a family man
So Happy Father's Day, Dad. Happy Father's Day to my Granddad, my Grandpa, my father-in-law, my uncles. Happy first Father's Day to my best friend, and Happy Father's Day to all the men who have affected me and never knew it. My love and respect for you grows constantly as I grow in my own fatherhood. I pray that I will be a "four-pillared" man to my own family, as you have been to yours.
Happy Father's Day to the true American Hero.
As many of your writings do, this one brought tears to my eyes. For the beauty of it, because I recognize the men who inspired it, and because of the pleasure and honor to know you as not only my son, but as the man you have become. (I told Dad it should be a country song and he told me you wrote that in your blog. :)
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