Evidence #1: I’m spending more time in the bathroom.
Maybe the digestion process has grown more complicated with age. Maybe the solitude of the stall has grown more appealing. Maybe reading is easier in there. All I know is that what I used to make fun of my dad for, I now do.
Evidence #2: I find myself liking country music.
I used to loathe country music, and I swore it would never happen, but something about it has become attractive. The simplicity, the patriotism, the pride: things I guess I never really understood when I was younger. Back then, hometown “hicks” were ridiculous to me. Now I respect the working man and his struggles. Although I still love my rock and roll, I have come to appreciate the realness of country music. It extols the little pleasures of life that I used to take for granted. It laments losses and hardships I didn’t used to understand. After a while, intellectual idealism can leave a bad taste in your mouth, and you have to wash it out with a little bite of country fried real life.
Evidence #3: I love John Wayne.
When I was a kid, I thought westerns were boring. When there wasn’t a gunfight or a chase scene, the stories seemed to be very slow, and even when there was some action, it was usually pretty repetitive. The dialogue was sparse and dated, the heroes and villains one-dimensional, and the scenery mostly bland. Not only that, but John Wayne was mean. He was constantly telling people what to do, punching people who tried to stand up to him, and keeping the people who cared about him at an emotional distance. I just didn’t get it.
But I get it now. The Duke was a 100% man. And as such, I did not understand him as a boy. His movies might romanticize what was in reality somewhat of a scary, hedonistic period of our country’s history, but that is why they are appealing to men. You see, we suffer today from what Rush Limbaugh has called the “chickification of America”. Hard work and loyalty are prized less than being “in touch with your emotions”. Right and wrong have been blurred, and we care more about hurting people’s feelings than we do about justice. But in Hollywood’s version of the American West, there was honor. There was strength. There were good guys and there were bad guys, and John Wayne was the best guy. He knew what was right, and he'd be sure to let you know if you were wrong. He protected the innocent and punished the guilty. He would kill and die for his cause. He knew how to treat a woman (see the ending of McLintock!). He was proud of what he accomplished with his own hands, and he loved his country.
You ask me why I love her? Well, give me time, and I'll explain
Have you seen a Kansas sunset or an Arizona rain?
Have you drifted on a bayou down Louisiana way?
Have you watched the cold fog drifting over San Francisco Bay?
Have you heard a Bobwhite calling in the Carolina pines?
Or heard the bellow of a diesel in the Appalachia mines?
Does the call of Niagara thrill you when you hear her waters roar?
Do you look with awe and wonder at a Massachusetts shore
Where men who braved a hard new world, first stepped on Plymouth Rock?
And do you think of them when you stroll along a New York City dock?
Have you seen a snowflake drifting in the Rockies way up high?
Have you seen the sun come blazing down from a bright Nevada sky?
Do you hail to the Columbia as she rushes to the sea
Or bow your head at Gettysburg in our struggle to be free?
Have you seen the mighty Tetons? Have you watched an eagle soar?
Have you seen the Mississippi roll along Missouri's shore?
Have you felt a chill at Michigan, when on a winters day
Her waters rage along the shore in a thunderous display?
Does the word "Aloha" make you warm?
Do you stare in disbelief when you see the surf come roaring in at Waimea reef?
From Alaska's gold to the Everglades, from the Rio Grande to Maine
My heart cries out, my pulse runs fast at the might of her domain
You ask me why I love her? I've a million reasons why
My beautiful America, beneath God's wide, wide sky
- John Wayne, America, Why I Love Her (1973), written by John Mitchum
Amen, cowboy.
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